Illimitable

2006. 04. 16

Exams, clubs, I am so occupied. There are so much I want to do and so much I don't want to do. Why there is always an external force favors the things unwanted? I only pled for a break but no break is given. Maybe it was indeed the nemesis of my hesitation in August 2004?

Now I am trapped in a closed circuit by the things my brain is not made for. One more step away from ____.

2006. 04. 04

Oh! How the stars shine on the night sky. So distant, so beautiful. And the spring wind carries such a familiar smell that evokes my beautiful memories of this place. How much I love this!

2006. 04. 02

Spring vacation has finally started. Oh, how I long for this break! Yet life doesn't always the way we wanted. I was infected by serious flu since Thursday night. It came with a sour throat, a sniffing nose, and severe fever. Strange is that I don't even feel hungry. My body had lost connection with my nerve, all my receptors were malfunctioned. My stomach even failed to notify me it is extremely hungry, till when I reasoned that it is abnormal hungriness did not reach me and ate some oats.

Friday, I took a train to Kaohsiung. The fever did not ease since last night. It was so bad that I thought I was not going to make it home. With a dizzy head, I wondered in the underground passage, seeing everything in front of me twisting and changing. I wanted to rest, but there was no place to rest, even the paper-made temporary home of the vagrants seem comfortable to me. Oh, how much I wanted to sleep even between the boxes! And, because of the running nose, I had to talk in an awkward way that no one seems to understand my Chinese anymore. It took the clerk in Subway five times to understand one word of mine. The only conscious left with me is the determination of going home.

Despite the high possibilities of become a stray on street, I made the train. It was the toughest five hours of the journey. On the train, I could not stop shivering. My body temperature kept rising, and my nose and throat did not give me an easy time either. I also began coughing and had to suppress it by massive drinking. Once in a while I would fell asleep and woke up feeling a year had passed. By the time I arrived in Kaohsiung, I have had used a whole pack of tissue paper and probably had my body temperature raised for another one degree.

Then I had an awful night dreaming about be coming a doll-like human, can only move my joints in several forms and someone is directing me to do so. I am not sure if I had really did the postures, but I woke up with pain everywhere. And probably because the rather high temperature, my brain works three times the normal speed, thinking of all sorts of strange things while over controlling my body.

Now, here I am, sitting in front of my computer, my body temperature is back to normal and my throat is hurting no more. I am glad I am finally home.