Illimitable

2006. 03. 26

Sometimes I got surprised by my mouth. Occasionally it summarizes what was deep in my mind that I did not realize, expresses the idea with a voice that I might recognize at first.

It happened again tonight, when I was having dinner with Tracy.

We were talking about the attitude of her partner towards the work. Then I found the reason that why my enthusiasm faded away when working under a certain style while it grows uncontrollably in other styles. It was simple. Most people here in Taiwan works in a way of tradition. There is always a tradition concerning each detail. And people feel they are obligated to perform it. If they want some differences, the old rule will be overthrown by a new one. There is always a prepared frame for everything. They expect things to be done in the expected way through an expected path. A detailed goal is set before starting, and each member of the group need only to complete their job and nothing but their job. No flexibility. During the process, people do not speak their ideas. Even if they do, they do not discuss their ideas. No one has the dare nor the will to discuss other's ideas, anyway. When the jobs are done as planned, the goal is reached as planned too. Everyone is happy. Not for me though. This working style makes me feel suffocating. I feel more comfortable in a team that has a flexible structure that allows the members to brainstorm together, that even drastic changes are allowed. Furthermore, everyone can be involved in every part of the project, which, in a point of view the goal is being shaped rather than achieved. Like an alchemist heats random materials for observation, you never know what the outcome is. I know I have worked this way with several people before. They were superb experiences. But it appears that most people here have thought if this before. Strange. The only moment they show their ability of such style is when they are gossiping, what we called "mouth bombing", which means nothing but talks. Such a rigid style of work leave small room for creativity, new ideas dies at the moment it leaves the mouth. Was it because our society has been the manufacturer of other countries for too long that we do not remember other methods? So that our government has to set up the Creativity Lab in Industrial Technology Research Institute for helping the engineers to find new ideas? It seems that people are not rejected by the Muse but rather closed the door for the Muse. Sigh.

I think I still have faith on the quality of people here, but I wish there is a chance for them to find the joyfulness of being creative.

2006. 03. 24

0001
There has been a wonderful memory hidden in my brain, than I could not help but keep re-visiting it in the dream.

0002
This week was wonderful, inspirations came several times. The teacher of Science Fiction class said engineers in Taiwan have high capability but no creativity, which I was afraid to be, despite I am not an engineer. For quite some while inspirations do not come to me even when I tempted to search for one. Strangely, lots new ideas came to me in a sudden bloom this week. Perhaps it was music, perhaps it was the weather that brought me these wonderful gifts? Yes, I think there might be something to do with the music and weather, which invoked a special element deep in my brain. I feel so alive now. Finally I have something I really want to do. Maybe they are just some tiny crazy ideas, but they are going to be fun to work on. A friend of mine sharply pointed out I am trying to squeeze so many things into such a limited time. Haha. He is quite right. But I did not realize until he mentioned it. Life is busy for me now, and I enjoy being busy. Spend more than four hours on one single stuff, except playing, is a torture for me. Yet spend 12 hours on six different matters a day is exciting. I am born to be busy. Haha. Now I have so many ideas in mind, it would be superb to work on them.

0003
It was an accident when I came across the poems of Anna Akhmatova in the library. The first time I heard of Akhmatova was from a travel book about Russia. The author quoted her "In Tzar's Village", which became my motivation to borrow the book. As I read through the lines, I was hooked. Affecting, tender, and gloomy, her poems are full of colors. Unfortunately, I do not speak Russian, the only way to read her poems is by English and Chinese translations. Wish one day I could read her works directly from the language she used.

2006. 03. 12

Finally here are some updates! The new email form, and some tiny changes of guestbook, and link to Ashutosh's new blog. I am testing how the spam companies post the spams. Hehe, we'll see.

Lots things happened since this semester, mostly good. I'm overloaded this semester, taking courses in Literature and Computer Science. To tell the truth, they are more interesting than Life Science. Oops, did I say it? Hehe. They are more creative. Life Science for university students is still too basic that not much creativity is allowed. But maybe it is just temporary. Maybe.

Actually, something good happened on March 6th, gave me a big relief and freedom. No more doubt, only fun. :) And I am happy now. Now I wish the reunion of my 2001 TQ team work out. It is going to be intriguing, I know.

2006. 03. 03

I tried to write, but was too busy and too tired.